Tag Archives: life

New Year, new me?

31 Dec

Don’t think so, I haven’t gotten fed up with the old one yet. ^^

2017 has been an exhausting as well as amazing year – Chaospony Verlag has published my hilarious tentacle novel, I’ve done my first obstacle race, and also completed the next “Magic behind the mountains” episode, and reached the top of my goal weight range. I’ve been at a book fair with my publisher and done my first public reading, and I have made more time to see family and friends. But all these things have left me with an extremely packed schedule, and towards the end of the year, exhaustion has crept up and wrapped its spiked arms around me. Friends have died. I know that many people dear to me have had a crappy year, including break-ups and nasty health- and job-related stuff.

It feels as if we are walking into the new calendar year holding our breaths – we are hoping for a break, or maybe even long-lasting improvement, but there might be fucktons of shoes yet to drop.

Like any normal and irrational human being, I have taken the time between my birthday and the end of December to come up with things I want to do in the coming year:

  • I have registered for a Strongman 10 K (in September, stay tuned … waiting for the first panic attack!)
  • There are three more novels to finish the “Magic behind the mountains” series, which I hope to have done and published by November 2018.
  • As always – I want to do more witching.
  • AND, to make matters worse, I have to find ways to do all this – writing, training, socializing, housekeeping – and simultaneously find better ways to recover and keep my strength throughout the year.

And I have been mulling over my long-term plans. By the age of 40, I would like enough income from novel-writing that I can at least scale back to a half-time job, or maybe quit the office altogether (I love translating and am not likely to stop, but I need more free time). I would also like to at least spend my free time in the country – unless I can convince the guy that we are not going to get killed in a far-away cottage with acres of garden and our own chickens and at least goats. Five years to get this done – shouldn’t be too hard, right?

Maybe it is because I am growing older, or maybe it’s this endless well of completely unsupported optimism – but I keep thinking to myself, When am I going to do this if I don’t start now? Who is going to do this but me?

Let’s make a deal – write your hopes and plans for the coming years down in the comments, or if you have your own end-of-year blog post, leave me the link. And in one year, we’ll return and laugh at our ridiculous optimism. Okay?


If only I knew how to stop

22 Dec

Every year when Yule rolls around, I find myself in the same time – drained from taking care of everyone else’s needs, unable to catch a break or tell other people “no”. It does not help that the guy and I have very different opinions on how to spend the holidays, or what makes a holiday a good break from everyday life. Today is the last work day of the year for me, and I am truly struggling not to rip off everyone’s head when we are all in a mad frenzy to get as much done as possible before the place closes down. (And believe me, most others around here are just as worn-out, stressed and on the edge.)

Which makes me wonder – how do we stop this? It might be a great time to rest, to be merry, to do something for ourselves to “fill our cups” (with something else than mulled wine). Seems jsut too difficult to practice what everyone preaches each year.

So, how about you? Running around like mad reindeer mice? Or have you found the magic key to not driving yourself and everyone around you crazy? If so, please share. Or vent, if you haven’t.



21 Jun

It’s the summer solstice, and despite my best efforts the day has been swamped, and I have no ritual or celebration prepared. It has been like this for almost every major witchy holidays for years, and I have complained about it more than once.

Today we met with a friend and her daughter after work. Burgers turned to ice cream, cats and dirty talk in different dialects – a hilarious topic. Then I remembered I would have to rush home, give input on the blurb for the hilarious tentacle book and continue with edits. Plus you guys are still waiting for, but only about twelve pages away from, “School of Fire” (which might end up being called “School of Flames” after all). No rest for the wicked, eh?

Anyway, I decided to do a bit of everything. There’s a bottle of pear cider in the fridge, I blew up a bed on the balcony for later and promised myself I’d switch off the computer at ten p.m. sharp. Outside the birds are chirping a lullaby, the neighbors have turned on the decorative fountain on their terrace, it’s agreeably warm outside and the sun is sinking below the horizon. The cats are doing the only proper thing to do on a day like this – chilling nearby and waiting for pettings. Later I will lie outside, call Richard (who’s still working in another city four to five days per week) and watch the sky turn dark as I count my blessings.

Merry midsummer everyone!

Just racing around

16 May

… trying to get everything organized and have my coffee while I do it. Nothing much has happened around here, and the things that have been happening are kind of exciting. Most of all, I GOT A BOOK CONTRACT!!! This is not so interesting for you, as it is a contract for a German book with a German publisher, but I am sky-high with endorphines and confusion, and I thought I would let you know. The story contains tentacles and jokes and super heroes and a cat, and maybe we will even find a way to have it translated in the future. Speaking of translations, “School of Fire” had to take a backseat while I was editing the tentacle novel, but I am trying not to forget, and I promise I won’t let you wait as long for the next book in the series.

Caffeinated witch greetings to all of you!

Ever felt like being hit by a truck?

10 Apr

Hopefully you have to imagine what that must feel like … being hit by 40 tons of solid material racing at you, the impact, the speed as you fly through the air …

Unfortunately, a dear friend of mine has acquired first-hand experience. Last week she she and her motorbike were run over by a semi truck when merging onto the highway. I do not know whether she was too close or simply in that blind area a truck driver cannot see (my father once overlooked a whole car in this area – another accident, another story), I do not know how fast she or the truck were going.

All I know is that she is passionate and witchy and a great Oriental dancer, a feminist and warrior woman, that she studies German and has made plans to travel to Germany eventually … and now she is in hospital with numerous fractures and increased intracranial pressure from a cerebral hemorrhage and at some point it was not certain whether she would keep her legs. Her family and friends are posting updates on her condition every day.

As you can imagine, hospital treatment is expensive. And that is why I am writing this to you, while I should be writing my stories or studying or generally doing something with my life – because this is her Gofundme page, and if you have even as little as a buck to spare, I kindly ask that you consider donating to help her family cover her medical bills.

*** UPDATE: Danika passed away in the late evening of 11 April, 2017. My thoughts are with her family. Please light a candle for her.


And to end everything on a lighter note, here is a picture of our cat Ronja. Today was supposed to be laundry day, but …


PBP: Finding time

13 Sep

Today’s prompt is about time management. In the busy world we live, how do you find time for your spiritual self? How do you maintain your spiritual growth and nurture your inner connection to deity in between meetings, phone calls, traffic jams, family, friends and everything else you do?
Post your thoughts, tips and tricks and as always, blessed be.


I have frequently blogged about trying to find time for some kind of daily practice. Getting up earlier, taking half an hour off for myself in the evening, reserving a few minutes right before leaving the house or after getting home – none of it worked.

Finally I had to face it – I am not a student anymore, and I am not living on my own. In combination with work, exercise and a new vocal basics course I started just this week, I have neither the energy nor the time for daily devotions.
And it all felt wrong.

The first sign of relief came when I moved my altar from my witchy office space to my night stand. No it did not magically create more time. But when I go to bed I can light a candle for a few minutes, or take a few minutes in the morning while waking up. I do not do extensive mediations or travels, but I can talk to my goddess, and she often answers. Plus I like sleeping next to my altar. (And not only sleeping. ^^ ) The only problem right now is that our cats think this is their special “Good morning, come and play with us!” seat. We are working on that. ^^

I am also trying to find other ways to express my spirituality – by picking up trash when I am out going for a walk. By praying and meditating on nature while I am out in the woods running. By paying special attention to the energies surrounding me. And by preparing food with the best energies I can muster, to be shared with loved ones.

In the end, I am not a priestess. I am a witch. And doing witchy things, fortunately, does not take much time – only all your heart and soul.

New perspectives

1 Aug

Yesterday a friend told me something she had kept secret from me, for fear of judgement. Indeed, I guess I am a judgemental person – the high (moral) horse I sit on is one to rival any giraffe. But I know that other people have to follow their own standards, and I try hard not to judge them for doing as they think is best. I will not hold back my opinion on topics, but I usually try to make clear at the same time that this is just an opinion and not The One And Only Truth. (Unless we are talking about peanut butter. Everything is better with peanut butter. Period.)

Anyway, this took me by surprise.

“But I want you to think well of me, and just now you had that look…”

Yeah, probably, but that was not because of what she had told me (nothing big, really), but because of the fact that she had lied to me. I do not take kindly to that. Anyway, lots of talk followed, accompanied by ice cream, and I think we are good again.

Still, in the evening I lit a candle to meditate and pray. This event had got me thinking. I don’t want to be THAT person. And I don’t want others to think that I am judging them all the time. (Because clearly I never make mistakes, have never done anything stupid and would never even for a fraction of a blink consider straying from my own steep moral paths. Ahem.) We are human, we make mistakes, and the biggest mistake would be not to learn from our mistakes. Apart from that, everything is fine by me, I guess.

As for my passing judgement, I received a reply from the Goddess which I thought I’d share, just because it is beautiful and true…

“Everything in nature is sacred, and I love everything the same. My creation keeps devoring itself – birds eat worms, spiders eat their males. Some wasps lay their eggs inside other insects who are then devored alive. many birds and primates cheat on their partners, and male lions kill the children of their predecessors. I don’t judge, I don’t take sides, I just love. For when it comes to life, there is no right or wrong – you do what you have to do to survive, and most of all, if you are lucky, you love and you enjoy yourself.”