Tag Archives: friends

Ever felt like being hit by a truck?

10 Apr

Hopefully you have to imagine what that must feel like … being hit by 40 tons of solid material racing at you, the impact, the speed as you fly through the air …

Unfortunately, a dear friend of mine has acquired first-hand experience. Last week she she and her motorbike were run over by a semi truck when merging onto the highway. I do not know whether she was too close or simply in that blind area a truck driver cannot see (my father once overlooked a whole car in this area Рanother accident, another story), I do not know how fast she or the truck were going.

All I know is that she is passionate and witchy and a great Oriental dancer, a feminist and warrior woman, that she studies German and has made plans to travel to Germany eventually … and now she is in hospital with numerous fractures and increased intracranial pressure from a cerebral hemorrhage and at some point it was not certain whether she would keep her legs. Her family and friends are posting updates on her condition every day.

As you can imagine, hospital treatment is expensive. And that is why I am writing this to you, while I should be writing my stories or studying or generally doing something with my life – because this is her Gofundme page, and if you have even as little as a buck to spare, I kindly ask that you consider donating to help her family cover her medical bills.

*** UPDATE: Danika passed away in the late evening of 11 April, 2017. My thoughts are with her family. Please light a candle for her.

 

And to end everything on a lighter note, here is a picture of our cat Ronja. Today was supposed to be laundry day, but …

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I should be writing

22 Sep

I should not be blogging. Deadlines are rushing by, and writing time is scarce. I should be writing.

I am trying to sort through my life. Again.

Last Friday we went to our favorite pub – three ladies out after a long day. As we drank cocktail after cocktail, we were talking and having fun.

What is the worst thing you ever did?

The Muslim doctor, “When I was little, my brothers and I would throw mud at the people coming to the mosque in their white robes on Friday.”

Me, “As a kid I scratched our landlord’s car because he was an asshole.”

My friend and colleague, “I slept with your ex. Before he became your ex.”

I laughed, too surprised to be angry. She seemed contrite. Said it was the thing she regretted most in the world. I told her that I could not promise I would not get angry later.

The next day, when I was supposed to go grocery shopping, I took our car for a highway tour. Driving is one of the most comforting things in the world for me. I was one hour later for everything the rest of the day, but I felt better.

I messaged my ex, with whom I was still friends, and told him he was an asshole. Then I blocked him on all chanels. We are not friends any longer.

Everyone of my friends has three strikes, so to speak. I don’t think I hold my surroundings to high standards (some people claim that is not true), and I know that everyone messes up sometimes. As long as we all do our best, it’s okay.

My friend says it was soon after he and I started dating, and she did not think the thing we had going was serious.

It was serious for me. You don’t get a say in other people’s relationships, even though you are entitled to your opinion.

I don’t believe in “sisters unite” – the idea that random women have to hold together against all men –¬† and I would not hold it against any of my friends if she started dating an ex. One of Richard’s ex girlfriends works with me, and we get along well. After that guy and I split up, I never minded when said friend told me about their sheenanigans, or when he talked about other women he was dating. Exes are entitled to lives, and friends are entitled to fun.

During her graduation party, her then-boyfriend made a pass at me. Everyone was drunk. I kept him at a distance and told her later.

She said that back then we had not known each other for long, only about a year, and it seemed like a good opportunity. Just a casual encounter. Nothing special.

Last March we celebrated our ten-year friendship anniversary. Had she told me right after it happened, the past nine years would not have taken place.

If said ex dropped in front of me, bleeding, I would step over him carefully as to not get his blood on my shoes. I want to hit someone. I want to yell. I want to wrap everything up and move far away so I won’t have to try and remain polite during office hours. We share a room with two other women, so there are no secrets. I am vindictive by nature and not beyond petty revenge, but I try to be better than that.

When her boyfriend attacked her in their home, she stayed at our place for a weekend. And when, a few weeks later, he kicked in her apartment door, I stepped between them to help avoid the worst. We called the police. Richard came over to talk to the guy and calm him down.

Faced with an unexpected situation, I always need some time to find out how I feel about it. Those who are close to me know that. I always try to find out whether anger etc. are just quick-tempered overreactions or whether they are valid. Occasionally with some time and reason I find out I was wrong at first. It happens to the best of us. I am also not sure whether maybe I am writing this as part of a subconscious revenge plot. So far I have not told anyone but Richard because I don’t want others to look at her. We share too many friends for me to talk about the whole thing comfortably.

A few months back she complained that I would value the opinion of random men higher than hers. We fought. I told her that I trusted men even less because I had been abused as a child. The next day, she tried to manipulate me with that knowledge. That was the closest I ever came to hitting someone in the face. It took me months to sort through everything and come out the other side.

RIchard has never made it a secret that he does not trust this friend. In the past I kept defending her. I trust my friends. When I told him this story, he did not say anything negative about her.

Every one of my friends has three strikes.

And now I’ll grab my stuff and head to the office, to try and wrap everything up before a long weekend.

Where do wicked witches draw the line?

26 Jun

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Image found here.

 

You all know me. I am not much of a “fluffy bunny filled with light and love” kind of witch. I adore Dorothy Morrison’s Utterly Wicked and may have hexed an apple or two in my career. To be honest, there are two hexes brewing at home right now. And as opposed to other witches I know, I am also not flat out against hexing and cursing on behalf of other people, as long as I could bear going to hell for the action in question – just in case I am wrong and at the end of our lives we are all judged by a giant pink hippopotamus.

Anyway, a friend has been asking me for help getting revenge on her husband and his mistress. I totally understand her – the dumbass has started cheating on her two weeks after their marriage, right after the honeymoon, and has stolen her jewellery to pawn it off. To make things worse he has the nerve to complain that she is not being a good wife because she is upset about his behavior. Under different circumstances I would happily hand her all the curses in the world (and add some of my own, since he is hurting a friend), but…

This friend is from a really conservative monotheistic religion. One of those “Thou shalt no suffer a witch to live” clubs. Even if right now she is willing to do everything and even (at least in her own understanding) hand over her sould to eternal damnation, I am convinced that in a few weeks or months she would start hating herself for having allowed “evil sorcery” to enter her life. See, I have never made a secret of my witchy way of life, and she has never said a single bad word about it. I even convinced her to go to the cinema for the first time in her life, at age 26, and try her first alcohol-free cocktail. Bad influences everywhere! But I try hard not to compromise people any more than necessary, so… when she started hinting about how she would do “anything” to get back at him, I told her that there are possibilities. I also explained that I would never let her try any of them because it would be against everything she believes in.

Instead I am trying to find ways to help her make up her mind – divorce or work things out? Break his legs or hide the body? Tell their families what a scumbag he is or protect his (and her) reputation? Believe me, these things are way easier when you are going to hell anyway. ^^

What is your stance on wicked witching? Yes or no – and for whom and why?

Where do I find a dress-up class?

17 Dec

A friend and I have made it a habit to go out for cocktails every now and again. It started out as an experiment to see how quickly we could get drunk if she wore a deep neckline (her breasts are amazing).

(Answer: Quickly.)

Anyway, we have tried this experiment either as girls’ group or with a guy and in different places. The results are always really funny.

Yesterday we went to a new place – a Brasilian cocktail bar. We brought a guy friend just for fun (and to make things more difficult for my friend with the amazing breasts) and took seats at the bar, since all the tables were taken. What followed was a fun night, with cute barkeepers fondling each other when our guy friend asked for an Orgasm (Bailey’s and anise liquor, I think) and new drinks magically appearing whenever the amazing boobs sat up straight.

And let me tell you, I looked great. Black and red boots, black tights, short red cotton dress over a white turtle neck, black coat, and just a hint of makeup. But I think I need to practice more – while my friend ended up handing out her phone number, all I got was advice on my glasses. ^^

Fortunately my self-confidence is slightly bigger than a baby elephant.

 

(For the records, yes, I am in a relationship. But that does not mean I cannot go out on my own to have fun.)

Pointing people in the right direction

9 Jul

There is a young woman working in my office. We come from rather different backgrounds and aare so different in our opinions, morals and views of the world that, although we get along pretty well during office hours (after all, we share a room), we will probably never be friends.

This woman has, over the last months, exhibited symptoms of great emotional and spiritual need. Currently she is turning towards Islam (probably for the wrong reasons – but that is not my decision to make, and presumably not my business anyway). I do not feel particularly tempted to help her (got rid of my savior complex long time ago), but it is tough seeing her like this. I would like to show her a way to a safe personal place in life, but the only way I know is witchcraft, which is most likely not for her.

This is a conversation we had today.

Her, “Do you think I could work overtime during Ramadan?”

Me, “You will have to clear that with our boss. But why would you voluntarily work overtime while the weather is nice?”

Her, “I don’t want to go home to my SO earlier.”

Me, “In this case I strongly suggest looking at this”, forwarding a link to a real estate search engine, “because if you do not want to go home to your SO, it is time to get out. If I were you, I’d look at at least three of those places this week.”

Her, “Uhm, thank you?”

Me, “Don’t thank me. If you are unhappy, you cannot concentrate, and then your work sucks, and then I will have to reprimand you and start checking all your work as if you were a rookie, and I simply don’t feel like doing that. Heck, I’d even help you pack and carry if it would stop you from complaining.”

Yes, we are extremely different. If there is a problem with my life, I sit down and try to come up with a solution. I do not tolerate abuse , and am not willing to make myself unhappy to avoid conflict. Or, to say it more clearly, if we were locked with a monster in a room, she would probably play dead bunny and hope the monster changes its mind. Me, on the other hand… well. I would prefer to bash its head in with a bat, but tools are optional. I have tried explaining to her that you have to put the fear of the furies in those who would otherwise try to take advantage of her, but her reply usually is, “But I love him, and he can be really nice.”

(Nice??? My ass…)

Now… after some thought and hesitation, I have offered to put her in contact with a rather modern Muslima I know in case she needs questions answered. Personally I cannot understand why anyone would want to follow a restrictive monotheistic religion where what is said in a book (no matter how holy) is more important than what is in your soul, but I know that everyone has got to follow their own path. Maybe this quest will bring my colleague some peace of mind and help her rebuild a stable life. (Maybe it won’t. One step at a time.)

Running for a good cause – we did it!

12 May

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That’s me, red and sweaty for the “Bonner Fundraiser Run”. All donations went to the Pediatric Outpatient Hospice Organization in Bonn. Each of us did ten laps, i.e. five kilometers. Not only me, but also…

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… Richard, despite working really hard and spending so much time way from home at the moment, and…

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… my colleague and friend Andrea, who is a secret superhero and, although not even a recreational runner like we are, finished her ten laps. But what else would you expect from a superhero?