Scary Germans

11 Dec

Monday I threw a colleague out of our office.

We are basically the only department consisting completely of Germans, and of women at that. Many male colleagues in the past have tried flirting their way to the top of our “to do” list when the office is busy. Those young Muslim men seem convinced we cannot escape their charming ways.

Anyway, we have strict rules concerning who may give us work. And on Monday morning a colleague who was not on that list arrived with a report for translation.

“Sorry, can’t take that. Our manager gets pissed if we do that. If you need it quickly, go to her and explain, she should send it down to us immediately.”

He seemed unhappy, but left.

Five minutes later, his superior opens our door. “Here, I need this translated now.”

“Sorry, can’t help you. You know we will get in trouble.” I always try to sort things out peacefully with them, after all we have to get along somehow. So I explain once more, “Go and ask our manager, she will make sure we start at once.”

“She is not there.” He pushes the paper into my hand. “Here, do that now.”

My two colleagues have become very quiet and are watching eagerly. They know what will happen next. They would grab popcorn if we had any.

“Sorry, I can’t help you.” I am still smiling when I hand the report back to him.

And this is when he makes the mistake. “Either you translate this now, or I will make a formal complaint to our boss.”

Surprise – this pale, redhaired, friendly German can be scary. And loud. I snarl at him, literally. “Fine, and now GET OUT!”

I may or may not have given him my favorite finger. Who the fuck does he think he is?


3 Responses to “Scary Germans”

  1. Magaly Guerrero December 12, 2013 at 7:20 am #

    Someone should have taken a picture. For my delight, of course 😀

  2. petoskeystone December 16, 2013 at 12:09 am #

    So, did you accept the paper in question & then ‘lose’ it?

    • diandralinnemann December 16, 2013 at 9:15 am #

      I sent him away to hand it in via the official channels. Then took my time getting everything done. Then handed it back via the official channels instead of giving it to him directly.

      (This morning he had no choice but to greet me. I thought he’d choke on it.)

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