Are you still trying to find your path?

25 Apr

Recently I started working through “The twelve wild swans” with a group of people. We have decided to focus on the “elemental” and the “inner path”. And somehow I don’t seem to get along with the chapters I have read so far.

At first I thought it was because I do not do these “ritualistic” things anymore. Like most good witches I started out with all of it – drawing circles, invoking all kinds of entities, proper tools and such. But it never felt right, and I pretty soon left those parts of the craft behind and instead meddled with everything that felt right. I can do them, I know the basics and would not refuse to participate in a group ritual organized along these rules, but… they are not necessary or helpful for me.

(Sometimes I think I should have spent more time trying to learn the basics, because these days it feels almost impossible to learn a new aspect of the craft unless I have some kind of “natural talent” – working with mirrors, for example, is something I would love to learn, but…)

(Uhm, I should probably add that I never really was a “good witch” to begin with. A creative witch, yes. A passionate witch, of course. But “good”? Cannot claim that one.)

Anyway, yesterday while I ws taking a walk through the forest, I think I found part of the solution.

The inner path focuses on finding a path, asking questions and healing yourself.

I guess I simply did these things long ago.

No, I don’t have all the answers. And I am still far from being that perfect loving, zen being with proper morals, neither fear nor laziness and the kind of love and joy that causes birds to break out in Disney song aorund me. (That would REALLY creep me out.)

It’s just that I found my path, tried some things and these days simply do the things that work. I do not feel as if anything was missing from my life, and I spent years healing the damage caused in my past. There have been spirit guides and secret safe places, discoveries and decisions and oceans of tears. Finally, at the age of thirty, I can say that I am at ease with my past. I am who I am because of past events, and they hold no power over me. Instead, they helped me define my morals and find out what I really want to do with my life. I can look back on terrible events and really, really wrong decisions without strong emotions.  The urge I felt when I was younger to go out and find and heal the dark and the blind spots has gone because I no longer needed it.

For the time being I will continue to work through the chapters together with the others. Maybe there is something eluding me at the moment. Learning and discovering never ends, and until I can walk the streets surrounded by singing cartoon characters and strangely tame animals I will have to work hard, but… I don’t know, at some point searching for “the answers” and trying to find my path obviously ended. Without me noticing.

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5 Responses to “Are you still trying to find your path?”

  1. Magaly Guerrero April 25, 2013 at 4:54 pm #

    I think my path has been finding me as I walk along. Sometimes I follow what I find, other times I wave at it and move forward 😉

  2. georgina aka greekwitch April 30, 2013 at 12:43 pm #

    I do not know why, but the internet goblins do not allow me to leave you a comment on this post.
    sometimes i feel like i am so set in my ways that i can not practice with other witches but this is not true. Something new always comes along and finds me!
    Thank you for your comment and your support.
    Beltane blessings of love and prosperity to you and your loved ones!

  3. georgina aka greekwitch April 30, 2013 at 12:43 pm #

    Yeih! The curse is broken! lol

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